


Lay it on me

by monkibaby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Alternate Universe - High School, American high school, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Boyfriend, Car Sex, Childhood Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hockey, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Multi, No Volleyball, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Beta Read, Polyamory, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, sorry kenma lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkibaby/pseuds/monkibaby
Summary: Akaashi just wants to remember what happened when he left the party with Kenma.Bokuto is new to town and confused but has the right spirit to keep us going.Kuroo feels terrible in general.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	1. ᴢᴇʀᴏ. before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a draft of what happens before the actual first chapter can pick up. Just so we don't go into it blindly.
> 
> Please read all the tags before continuing with the story. 
> 
> All warnings apply, if you have problems with mental help or are triggered by sensitive topics please turn away for your sake  
> <3

The nauseating twist of his stomach had Akaashi retching in no time.

Hand trying to cover his mouth as bile spewed across the polished kitchen floor of Terushima Yuuji's house. Blindly reaching out to balance against some unfortunate soul whom immediately shrugged him off. Surprisingly not many people were inhabiting the kitchen anyway. Avoiding the warm pile of goop that seemed to look up at him mockingly.

Luckily for Akaashi, Matsukawa Issei, a now fellow junior was there to easily scoop up the petite male. Slung over the male's broad shoulder with little fight, stomach lurching with the movement. Hanamaki Takahiro, Mattsun's boyfriend close on their trail, smiling in amusement.

It wasn't often they got to see normally stoic face Akaashi fucked up. Sweaty bodies pressing against them. Sea of horny teenagers parting almost subconsciously at the sight of the three. Not wanting to get in the path of the two taller men who had no problem shoving down someone in their path. they were already notorious for countless shenanigans leading to hospitalizations of fellow students.

"Keiji~ didn't think you'd actually show up!" The obnoxiously sweet voice that belonged to drama queen, Oikawa tooru, flooded his senses. Still uselessly hanging over Mattun's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, steely blue eyes met with sharp brown ones. Slender fingers cupped Akaashi's cheeks, thumb pads rubbing into the flushed skin."You smell fucking terrible." Oikawa's words sat heavily in Akaashi's head. Not that they held any real malice intent. He'd been pulled under the queen bee's arm almost immediately in freshmen year. Would be no point in getting rid of him now over one night.

"Charity work~" as he had once called it. No doubt a jab at their families differences in social statuses.

"What'd you guys do to our little prude?" A sense of comfort filling him even through the loud music that blared through the house at the banter.

"Perhaps someone spiked the juice?"

Hanamaki spoke thoughtfully, ruffling the thick curls that sat on top of their younger friend's head. None of them had time to react to Akaashi rejecting the liquid once again, the aftermath of it trailing down Mattun's letterman jacket, Hanamaki set off like a dying hyena. Howling with laughter.

"Alright, enough of that you two. Get the poor boy down already.." had Oikawa sounded genuinely concerned? Not that he'd ever truly been cruel to Akaashi, starting to help him stabilize on wobbly legs. "You good? Or do we need get someone to drive you home." Disappointment laced in his tone, a feeling of uneasiness passing through Akaashi. Having no doubt if he tried leaving now it'd only set up the way for more teasing.

"Mmmfff..I'm fine."

Watching dazed as Matsukawa shed the jacket with a grimace. He'd be sure to apologize tomorrow once everything stopped spinning. Maybe he could make it up by doing his homework when school went back in.  
  
Through blurred vision, and the unforgiving crowd he settled on the face of his childhood best friend, Kenma Kozume. Poorly dyed faux blond hair falling into his face, jaw clenched as if he were biting his tongue. If the frustrated look across his features had anything to do with it.Akaashi couldn't even think of the last time they hung out, had proper conversation, looked in the other's direction. Silly sleepovers like they used to do as children.It was between Kenma starting to date the captain of the hockey team; plus Akaashi's own rapid uprise in popularity that had them interacting less and less. He missed him.

Sweet apple scent that followed him everywhere seemed to be the only thing he could recognize anymore.

When did all of this get so hard? Why did high school have to depend on worthless social hierarchies, none of it would matter after graduation. Yet Akaashi couldn't grasp the idea of going back to the way things were before. He was friends with the bullies now, the important people, they were adored.

Maybe this was apart of growing up.

"Earth to _Keiji,_ you still with us?" Hanamaki's smooth voice snapped him out of the overflow of thoughts. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick, freshen up. Yūji probably has a spear toothbrush in one of them." He pushed away from the group before any of them could reply. Oikawa shooting him a cold stare that didn't go unnoticed by the three of them.

Akaashi rushed through the house, trying to find one of the six bathroom that weren't currently occupied by sick teens or couples hooking up. Before he could reach the door a petite hand grasped his shoulder. "Keiji?" Freezing in place, someone started following him? The raven turned to face, Kenma, that makes a bit more sense he supposed.

He must've been zoning out again. One moment he was staring at Kenma, the next he was in the bathroom, puking up the rest of his stomach contents. Finally. A soothing hand rubbing over Akaashi's tensing back while drool and vile dripped down his chin. "Mmmff sorry, didn't want anyone to see me like this..." trialing off with the thought of 'especially you'. It didn't need to be said for both males to understand. Akaashi was already standing before Kenma could speak. "Walk me home?" Smile painfully forced, reaching out to his 'best friend' of going on seventeen years.

"Yeah, _I can do that_."  
  


* * *

Akaashi rolled to his stomach in annoyance. Light filtering from outside starting to finally flood into the small room. 'Did I get hit by a fucking truck last night'. Bitterly thinking as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Finally reaching towards his phone that had been discarded on the hardwood flooring.

What the fuck. 

**142 notifications.**

**Oikawa:**  
**7 unread messages**  
**2 missed calls**

**Makki:**  
**2 unread messages**

**Mattun:**  
**4 unread messages**

**Twitter: 83 notifications**

**Kuroo:**  
**13 unread messages**  
**30 missed calls**

**Kenma:**  
**1 read message**

**'I'm sorry keiji.'**

What the hell happened last night. The thought wasn't long before the sixteen year old was rushing to the bathroom in a hurry only to realize nothing was left in his stomach. A bottomless pit of stomach acid as he heaved out in deep breaths. Opening tooru's messages once the heaving stopped.

**Oikawa:**  
**where the hell did you go?! - 1:23 am**

**don't know what kind of shit are are trying to pull but it isn't funny. CALL ME¡! - 1:36 am**

**you left with kenma?! what happened to not being on talking terms with that loser! god. you are getting on my last fucking nerve akaashi. -1:44 am**

**just, call me when you wake up. - 1:45 am**

**okay. fuck. are you okay? where the fuck are you keiji! - 7:20 am  
  
i'm worried keiji. - 8:56 am**

**kuroo found kenma in his house.. seriously wake the fuck up. you better be asleep and okay. if that fucker did something to you before he offed himself i am going to beat your ass. - 10:76 am**

Kenma was dead? He killed himself after just merely comforting Akaashi's pathetic sick self?

Akaashi felt physically numb but his brain swarmed with so much emotion. Not realizing he was even sobbing until his brother, Tobio, busted into the bathroom. Bright eyes blown wide. So full of life, promise, everything Akaashi had started to lack.   
Immediately concerned at the site of his usually calm older brother shaking uncontrollably

Arms tugging Akaashi close, bringing him back to reality, Tobio combing through the knotted black curls. Not speaking. Neither of the brothers were known for being very talkative anyway. Sitting in a comfortable silence as Akaashi got control of his breathing.

  
High school wasn't going to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feed back feel more than free to comment! This is my first time using AO3 so if the tags aren't properly set up i apologize! -Monki ต( ິᵒ̴̶̷̤ ﻌ ᵒ̴̶̷̤ )ິ ♬


	2. ᴏɴᴇ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All warnings in tags still apply.
> 
> Italics are thoughts.
> 
> Brief sexual assault in this chapter but it's only like one sentence.
> 
> Mentions of suicide and hints towards eating disorders as previously stated.

  
**"so sorry for your lost :("**  
**"get some rest love <\3"**  
**"you could've done something to stop him."  
  
  
**

Akaashi already wasn't an overbearing presence on social media like Okiawa. This only encouraged him to make everything private before too many comments came in.

None of them actually cared, the same fuckers who bullied Kenma were throwing his name around like a raffle card, who could get the most pity likes Oikawa, out of everyone, had the common decency to not post about the situation. Shoving him into lockers, slurs being thrown at him, gaining social brownie points on Instagram and twitter for this. Kenma wouldn't have wanted this.

Akaashi felt his fingers numb, knuckles turning pale, iron grip on the chair underneath him not lighting. Restraining from forcefully shutting his own mother up. He **_WASNT_** his mother. He wouldn't stoop to her levels.

Akaashi's mother was undeniably beautiful, prominent cheekbones, deep blue eyes, black hair cut in a bob that fell to her shoulders. Her words were nothing but laced with a venomous hatred.  
"Only a matter of time until the other little faggotsin this town follow his steps. If anything he did us a favor!"Lips smacking wetly after taking sips of her coffee, no doubt mixed with brandy. Akaashi's household was notorious for screaming, glass shattering, and sobbing children.Tobio staring down at his paper plate, poking at freezer burnt waffles in front of him. Akaashi already had to convince the fourteen year old he could have the last of it, " _I'll eat at school, Tobio. Don't worry_ ". Growing tension giving the young male enough direction to shove the rest down his throat.

A cheery ringtone filled the kitchen.

**Oikawa calling**

"Well, we better get going before Oikawa leaves us."

Akaashi already half way down the hall as the words left his mouth. Tobio close on his heels, hands clutching to the backpack straps with a spark of nervousness hidden in his eyes. First day of freshmen year, while Akaashi was now officially going into Junior year.  
  
Neither brother spoke, reaching Oikawa's pearly white Range Rover. Releasing a deep sigh and slumping down in their seats. "Keiji, you are gonna end hunchback if you keep that up." Oikawa was painfully cheery for eight in the morning, fixing already neatly set hair in the mirror. Looking back at Tobio with a wicked grin, "plan on picking up any bitches today?" Akaashi gave a pointed look, for once, Oikawa shut his mouth. Not before he huffed in annoyance, focusing on the road.

Campus wasn't far, maybe a 10 minute walk from the house but Oikawa insisted driving them back and forth.

" _What would people think if you showed up alone? All sweaty and out of place. My reputation would be on the line, Keiji!"_ Squawking like a injured bird.

Tobio was first to exit the vehicle, looking towards Akaashi pleadingly, middle school was nothing less than an nightmare. "Have a good day bud," Akaashi's calm voice gave him reassurance. Oikawa gave a flirty wink in his direction. Tobio slammed the door shut immediately. Sending the senior into a fit of giggles as he pulled forward to find a parking spot.

"Stop flirting with my brother you creep."

Akaashi teased, tone staying dull. "Keiji, you know my heart is with Iwa," referring to Iwaizumi Hajime. Who had caught Oikawa's attention faster than any of his random little flings. Clinging to the transfer student from Puerto Rico almost immediately in sophomore year. From what Akaashi has walked in on, Iwaizumi seemed to like the attention. "How could I forget?" Reaching back to retrieve his backpack, nimble fingers hesitating to fully grasp the door handle.

People were going to stare, that was a given. Nothing Akaashi could do or say would stop them. It wouldn't be in the usual awe and jealousy, complimenting the pair as they walked by. Judgmental looks and deceiving grins, whispering to the person next to them. Oikawa's own door slamming shut, failing to notice his friend even got out before moments later, door swinging open. Taking a deep breath, Akaashi stepped out of the car, faltering with each step they took towards the open doors. Students already swarming the entire campus, mingling with friends, trying to figure out new schedules and who joined what club.

Akaashi was noticeably tense, fidgeting with his fingers in thought, if people started to catch on they'd start spreading more rumors. Like at any moment someone would walk up, ask about what happened over the break. How his childhood best friend suddenly killed himself without a single thing said to anyone other than " _I'm sorry, keiji_." How was he supposed to cope with this? How was he expected to cope with this? He was just a kid, yet people were constantly bombarding at him with questions like he held the closure. Kenma's parents, Kuroo, the police after taking his statement of that night.   
—  
  
"Kenma walked me home from a small get together. I'm sorry, but I have nothing more to offer." Akaashi would never forget the dazed over look in Kenma's mother's eyes. Her pained expression turning to disgust, screaming at Akaashi, fist slamming onto the table as she stared him down.

"You and your family never do anything but take! Why couldn't you have been different Akaashi, we knew you better than this!"

Heart dropping into his stomach as her words started to become drowned out with sobs, body shaking as the officers pulled her from the room. His eyes met with her husband's hallow ones, apologizing for her behavior.

Akaashi left the station after emptying his stomach in the bathroom.  
  
—

Was it really his fault?  
  
Hanamaki and Matsukawa being up his ass more than usual wasn't helping.  
  
Inviting him over to hangout; leading Akaashi to sit awkwardly on his phone as they practically fucked in-front of the unamused participant.

Coming back to reality at an arm thrown over his shoulder, "don't you look cute today." Matsukawa purred into the shell of his ear. Hanamaki smacking the back of his boyfriend's head. "Aww, creampuff. don't be that way." Slipping away from Akaashi, engulfing his grumpy boyfriend into a bear hug.

"You two are disgustingly cute."

Smiling in sync, and if Akaashi wasn't already used to the weird behavior it would've startled him. Loud shrilling bell filling the crowed halls. Students groaned in displeasure as they departed from friends and ongoing gossip.

Even sitting through first period seemed to drag on longer than usual. Focusing in class had never been an issue before for Akaashi, yet, every word coming from the teacher felt sluggish and wrong. Pen dragging across lined pages of paper, tuning out the entire lesson. Pristine notes getting overlapped with random squiggles that held no meaning.

Akaashi was grateful his teacher decided to leave him alone for the period.

So forth, each class seemed to drag on longer than the last. Unfocused eyes watching as the teacher for AP history expressed to much passion on some random event no one would remember after the bell rung.

"Pssspp...psssppss, Akaashi!" Whispering not very quietly, yanking at the back of Akaashi's hoodie. Effectively gagging him, teacher's attention snapping towards both students.

"Sorry ma'am, had something stuck in my throat.."

Eyes falling on him only to quickly switch back as the teacher picked up where she left off. Akaashi turned with narrow eyes, staring down Miya Atsumu. Smiling careless, it wasn't often that he was seen without one.

"Do you happen to have an extra pencil, sweetheart?"

Atsumu's aura of faux innocence was whisked away, unlike all of the girls who fawned over him, Akaashi saw through it. "You haven't had one this entire time?" An arrogant asshole who got everything handed over at a snap of fingers with daddy's money. Miya Osamu wasn't nearly as unbearable.

"Okay..maybe I _don't_ need one. How about I pick your mind? Ya know, we haven't talked in awhile."

"Are you seriously going to try this during class? I'm not playing into your game," turning back towards the teacher, who luckily hadn't caught on. Ignoring each tug of clothing, poking, and scraps of lose paper flying pass.

Akaashi was grateful for another thing. Self control.

Half hazardously collecting everything in his arms, shoving papers into their respective places, fleeing in a hurry. Atsumu was faster than predicted, ripping the bag from Akaashi's arms as he tried cornering him.

"Listen, I'm just curious what went down that night. Can you really blame me? Or anyone else, no one is speaking up about it. What's the point in drama like this if we don't get an explanation! That defends the entire purpose!"

Fist clenching shut into tight balls, nails embedding into the palm of his hands. "What part about someone killing themself is drama, Atsumu? He was a fucking human being. Not some pawn in your game of chess," struggling to keep a leveled tone even though his blood was boiling with rage, in hopes of not attracting anymore attention towards them.

People were already strolling pass in large groups towards the cafeteria.

Eyebrow's turning down in irritation, swiping the bag back. "Leave me out of this," turning on his heels and making a beeline to the crowed cafeteria.  
  
Shouldering his way to the front of the line, to Oikawa. No one dared complaining with Matsukawa and Hanamaki nearby. Oikawa picking through a basket of fruits, making faces as each fruit turned up more bruised than the last. Unlike some, Akaashi wasn't picky with food. Stacking his tray with a plate full of French fries, an alarmingly pale burger next. At last Oikawa decided grabbing a Diet Coke and protein bar was enough to satisfy the body of a growing teen. All four made their way through the cafeteria. Commonly frequented table in the middle of all the action.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa dropping their trays stacked high with questionable food down. Oikawa and Akaashi were more graceful as they sat down.

"So, boysss~ how has your first day been?" Everyone at the table knew it was directed at Akaashi, whom, was shoveling mushy fries into his mouth. Stress mixed with fatigue from not eating breakfast was catching up, and he'd be damned if lunch was also ruined with pointless gossip. Tobio would end up getting the last of the pizza wrapped up at home anyway.

"We got a new kid on the team, cut straight through the net with his skates. Had to fish him out before coach saw." Matsukawa snickered thinking back to earlier events.

"Heard Sugawara and Daichi got back together."

Akaashi was even shocked by that statement. Last everyone heard Daichi got caught hooking up with some blondie during a party, Sugawara walked in and the rest was history. Breaking off the relationship, rushing from the room in a fit of sobs.

6'0 and all muscle clinging to Suga's arm, pants still caught around his ankles, "angel, please! We can talk this through!" In the end, Osamu was seen pulling the captain of the football team away from Suga.

"Oh~ that's pretty interesting. He seemed pretty determined to keep away. Guess Daichi is packing some mad hea-" Oikawa didn't finish the sentence as Iwaizumi slammed his tray down on the table. Startling the rest of them as he shoved Oikawa half way off the bend. Sitting with a confused look. "Iwaaa~ rude!" Hitting at his boyfriend's bicep, Iwaizumi didn't flinch.

"What are you idiots on about," voice gruff in comparison to Oikawa's sing song tone that seemed to fill rooms. "Is it true Daichi is back with Suga? They have to be banging again." Hanamaki stated crudely, hanging halfway across the table to stare down the hockey player. Iwaizumi's scowling expression stayed the same. "You think I pay attention to who is fucking who like you creeps?" It came out as a scoff, not elaborating any further.

The table went back to quiet discussions for the rest of lunch.

Oikawa occasionally picking food off of Iwaizumi's tray, stuffing it into his mouth, whimpering as the other male flicked him. "You should've grabbed actual food if you were hungry, trashykawa!"

"Iwaaa!" Cried the brunette.

Akaashi smiled down at his tray of half eaten food.   
"idiots."  


Gym wasn't horrible, Akaashi might've not been in any official sport club, but by his toned body. He was in good shape, easily keeping up.

Locker rooms felt like an entirely different world.

Putrid Smell filling his nostrils, rusty lockers, shaky benches seemingly holding the stench of sweat. Did no one shower these days? " _What happened to common courtesy to not smell like complete ass_."

Stripping down quickly, eyes hungrily looking over Akaashi's slender legs and plump thighs. Mumbles filled the room, and finally, a firm hand coming down on his clothed ass. Shock filled Akaashi before the overwhelming want to scrub his skin raw did. Leveling his breathing immediately, they couldn't know this effected him. They'd only gang up on him like a pack of dogs afterwards. Laughing sprung through the locker room, changing as quickly as possible.

Akaashi slammed his locker shut, pushing out of the building. Bent over, stabilizing himself on his knees; deep inhales of the fresh breeze calming his senses. Normally the steel eyed teen would be be silently cursing the cold that nipped at his nose. Shivering was better than being trapped in a room full of pigs he decided.

Nothing was stopping him from telling Mattun or Oikawa about the harassment. Hell, even Iwaizumi would beat them into a pulp to defend his honor.

_"How tiring."_

"Akaashi, out on the field! Stop stalling, get into the game!"

Jogging out to the field to join the game of soccer with a prominent frown.

Most of the game staying uneventful, some how Akaashi felt better knowing he could end the school day easily. Smooth sailing, until a large forced had him folding in on himself, into the grass.

Looking up he saw him for the first time. Bright golden eyes, face twisted in worry. This had to be the person Matsukawa spoke about during lunch. Although, he failed to mention how atrocious his hairstyle was. Without doubt it had to be some form of gel or hairspray, holding up the two prominent points. Somehow it still looked soft?

Was he from the city? Maybe an entirely different country like Iwaizumi. Tanned skin and muscles bulging underneath the school issued gym shirt.

"Shit, are you okay? That was a pretty hard fall," speaking frantically, " _loud.."_ Akaashi thought in dismay. It felt like someone jammed pennies in his mouth, spitting into the grass beside him." Did I really hit you that hard?" Akaashi wanted to tell them to shut up. "I'll be fine, no thanks to you." Wobbling like a newborn deer, teeth clenched together, scorching pain spreading up his calf.

Akaashi failed to notice his ankle after almost being flattened like a pancake.

Already turning an irritated shade of red, it didn't look broken or twisted, " _hopefully just a sprain_." Arms wrapped underneath his own, easily lifting pressure off his injured ankle. "Let me walk you to the nurse? It's not everyday i plow pretty boys into mud on my first day of school." Akaashi bit back laughter at the phrasing, eyebrow twitching with interest. "Is this not your first time plowing a pretty boy in mud, ... " taller of the two flushing. "Bokuto Koutarou."

"Akaashi keiji. I'd love to have you accompany me to the nurses office, if you keep your mouth shut." Bokuto's goofily apologetic face dropped. Feeling just a tad bit guilty, but as he requested, they walked to the nurses in complete silence.

"So, you're new to town?" It was obvious, Akaashi couldn't help but feel curious. It wasn't every day they got new residents in this shit hole town.

Bokuto's mouth opened for a split second only to shut, looking at Akaashi expectingly. "I wasn't being serious, or have you suddenly gone mute?"

"From California, technically, we moved around a lot. My grandparents lived here actually!" Bokuto didn't take long to fall back into a bubbly mood.

Akaashi hummer in respond, holding a ziplock bag of ice to his swollen ankle. "They passed away recently, so we inherited the estate."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"No no! Don't worry about it, never met them personally." From there Bokuto continued on with his entire life story, and really, Akaashi didn't just let him ramble because Bokuto was cute. That was NOT the reason.

Bokuto was seventeen years old, born in Beverly Hills California. Father just retiring from the military after years of traveling around. Mother a trophy wife who has never worked for anything in her life. His family was fucking loaded from what Akaashi was getting from all of this. Talking about travels to different countries and all the people he got to meet along the way. How many scholarships were lined up for hockey.

He was the exact opposite of Akaashi.

Opening up more than Akaashi ever has to another person in the few minutes they've known each other.

Akaashi couldn't help the loathing residing deep in his core. Everything pointed to a perfect life, perfect future, perfect everything. "Kaashi? You still listening?" Bokuto was practically a few inches from his face, flinching back and almost fall off the bench in the process.

"Kaashi?" Akaashi repeated, confusion strung across his features. "Is that not okay? I usually give people nicknames out of habit.." Bokuto looked throughly embarrassed. Rubbing the back of his neck with another apologetic smile. "No worries. I just don't think anyone has ever given me a proper nickname before," Akaashi mused at the situation, other than the usual " _snotty whore. trailer trash. faggot_."

A foreign feeling swelling in his chest, "thank you, Bokuto. I appreciate you taking time to give me one."

Bokuto's cheeks dusted pink, feet thumping against the ground rapidly. "Do you want me to grab our stuff? Bell's bout to ring, unless you want to grab your own stuff! I wouldn't want to invade into your personal space!" Akaashi held a faint smile, "no worries, my locker is unlocked, back entrance number sixteen."

"Mine is seventeen! We are locker buddies Kaashi!" Bokuto stated enthusiastically, he must've changed out before Akaashi had to chance to see him. "Well then, I'll be waiting here. Not like I can get up."   
Bokuto tried to not show how guilty he felt at the comment, uttering "be right back," before bouncing out of the room.

Akaashi's normally stoic expression returned to his face even with the whirlpool of emotions filling his chest. 

This didn't seem to be getting any better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ended up super busy with work and haven't been able to properly edit this. Hopefully it is still enjoyable! Feel free to call me out on any mistakes! -monki (╥﹏╥)


	3. ᴛᴡᴏ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma and Kuroo focused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter- 
> 
> hinted at child abuse  
> toxic/abusive relationships
> 
> graphic suicide scene

Kenma Kozume was nothing but your ordinary small town boy. Average grades, antisocial qualities, and a few other quirks every teen seemed to face. Easily skipped over in class, nobody paid much mind to him until high school.

Dating a upcoming and only rising star of the hockey team did that. Kuroo was anything but a stereotypical jock. A good man, way too good for what Kenma put him through.

Their Parents meet in school, almost immediately hitting it off. They became friends by default the moment baby Kenma could keep up with Kuroo. Akaashi joined them in kindergarten.

Meekly coming up to the pair, wide eyes and bruised cheekbone, toy car held by chubby fingers. "Play?" From that day forward Akaashi was included in everything the former duo did. Sleeping over at Kuroo's most nights even if Kenma didn't attend.

Kenma soon learned what jealousy was. Only twelve when Akaashi's father finally left, clinging to Kuroo like his very life depended on it. "It'll be okay, Keiji. I got you. I'm not going anywhere." Soothing words lulling Akaashi to sleep in his hold.

Kenma's growing possession over the two was no secret. Fueling with a blistering flame each time their fellow classmates gave them too much attention. He had no problem dealing with kids who got too close for comfort.

Puberty started giving Kuroo a few extra inches over his classmates, accompanied with muscles that continued filling out. Akaashi was blessed with a slender form and round behind. Kenma stayed pudgy and a few inches shorter than the two.

Akaashi never noticed how people stopped talking to him after Kenma glared then them. It was the last day of eighth grade, the day Kuroo finally got a grasp of how bad it truly gotten.

An hour prior walking in on a year seven girl thrashing beneath Kenma, sobbing, soft pleads to let her go. Scissors clattering to the floor and into heaps of hair, needless to say Kuroo pulled Kenma away. "You understand that was assault right. You could go to fucking juvie if she reports you!"

Kuroo's words meant nothing until he mentioned telling Akaashi about the entire ordeal. The first out of many times Kenma would showed his true colors.

"If you tell Akaashi about this I'll kill myself! Please, I can't live without you guys. Forgive me, Kuro." Words coming out in hiccups, rosy cheeks flushed and covered in warm tears.

"Just, don't do anything like that again." This was the first time in many situations Kuroo felt like he was suffocating.  
—

"Kuro, I'm horny."

Already starting to pull the elastics of his pants, nipping below Kuroo's ear just the way he liked. "Not feeling it right now. If I don't finish this tonight I'll get marked down and benched next game." Kenma sat back dumbfounded. Here they were two teenage boys full of hormones, left alone in an empty house, Kuroo was turning him away.

Eyeing the geometry book seated in his boyfriend's lap, ripping it away in a flurry of rage. Photo frames toppling over along with a stack of sports magazines. unfortunate victims that happened to get in Kenma's war path. Thudding hard against hardwood flooring.

"Fuck me before I find someone else to do it better. The caption of the hockey team is pretty cute, bet he wouldn't mind fucking his underclassmen's boyfriend." Kuroo knew by the gleam in Kenma's eyes it wasn't an empty threat.

"Can you not do this tonight? I don't have time to do this, Ken." Retrieving his abused geometry book with a grimace, mangled pages sticking out. It would be pointless trying to reopen it until Kenma was done throwing his tantrum.

"Why do you always act like I'm the one causing issues. I just want my boyfriend to do something nice for me!" Once he started nothing stopped Kenma until he got what he wanted.

Kuroo was suffocating.

—

"Is this some kind of joke, Kenma. Sawamura Daichi? He had a fucking boyfriend for christ sake! You have a boyfriend, do I mean nothing to you?" Rubbing away tears that threatened to fall with tightened fist.

Kenma gave an unidentifiable look, almost annoyed he was even being questioned. Noises of his game filled the room as he played away, like nothing even happened. "He isn't on the hockey team."

Kuroo slammed the door on his way out.

—

"Why can't you look at me the way you look at Akaashi."

Kenma looked up from his notes, frozen in place. "Shouldn't you be asking yourself that? Stop being a manipulative prick, do you want me to feel bad for you? Don't you have a test to be studying for?" Kuroo sunk lower into the plastic seats of the library, maybe he was being manipulative. He would try hard to better. Anything to make Kenma happy.

Kuroo didn't speak for the rest of the lunch period.  
—

"We need to break up."

Kenma's neutral face changed to agitated in a flash, crushing the red solo cup in hand. "What are you talking about, Kuroo. I thought you were getting better, stop with this fucking pity party."

Kuroo looked like he would cave in any second now, drop the subject and just shrug it off. Looking anywhere but the boy he'd been in love with for almost the entirety of his life. "I can't do this, Ken. It's too much. I can't fucking breathe around you anymore, I'm drowning!" People started to stare, whispering among each other as Kuroo broke down.

Kenma stood in shock. He haven't even been given the chance to speak before Kuroo gone. Officially alone. Stuck at some stupid party he didn't even want to attend. Things started to look up as he saw him.

Akaashi stumbling to the bathroom, skin pale, slick with sweat. So he followed, watching over the curls of raven hair.  
—

"Walk me home?" Flashing that beautiful smile that made his stomach dance around with butterflies each time

"Yeah, I can do that." This was it, his chance to reconnect. He wasn't going to be alone because Kuroo was an asshole who couldn't handle him. He was going to get Akaashi to love him the way he had always hoped he would.

Fingers intertwined as they walked through dimly lit streets, puffs of air noticeable by the cold air. "How've you been?" Akaashi slurred, struggling to focus where feet met the pavement so he wouldn't fall.

"I've been okay." Not exactly a lie, Akaashi's mere presence was comforting. "What about Kuroo? I haven't heard much from him either." Kenma started to scowl, not that the drunken male noticed. Blissfully ignorant to everything taken place throughout years now.

"Does it matter?"

"Guess it doesn't. I just miss you guys," leaning his head on Kenma's shoulder with a soft hum. "Even my mom has asked about you," giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world. "Isn't that crazy? I remember when she didn't let me see you for weeks after you came out. Convinced you had some secret crush on me"

"Would it be so bad?"

"Hmm," Akaashi reeled back, confusion laced in his tone and expression. "Would it be so bad if I liked you?" Voice wavering on each word. "Kenma, you're with Kuroo. You guys are all in love and shit" Kenma hated the way Akaashi was looking at him.

"I love you. It's you." Stepping forwards as Akaashi flinched back. Cold hands moving to cup his cheeks. "It has always been you." Leaning in to task plush lips against his own, Akaashi shoved away. "What are you talking about?!"

Kenma felt the lump in his throat grow, reaching back out to Akaashi. "Kuroo already abandoned me. Don't do the same, I can't survive like this." He could convince Akaashi to love him.

"I'll kill myself if you don't give me a chance." Akaashi's expression changed to one of horror, stepping back like he'd been slapped. "Kenma, I can't return these feelings. Please, whatever happened with Kuroo, leave me out of it." It didn't work, it had always worked. What made Akaashi so different from Kuroo.

"We can talk about this later. Thank you for walking me home Kenma. Have a good night." They weren't even on his block yet and Kenma was once again alone.

—

Maybe he should've done this along time ago. Why was he always threatening to kill himself as if he wasn't easily replaceable. He was replaceable. Glass shattering, harsh breathing as he trashed the room searching for it. He was going to make this right.

Kenma didn't want to hurt the people he loved anymore.

Warm water soaked through his clothing, he couldn't remember when he started the assault on his arms but the pain was unbearable. Limbs shaking uncontrollably, murky water lapping over the side of the tub. Water splattering across the cool title. Screaming in agony, torn flesh met water, metal stench invading all his senses. It burned, he was on fire, everything was on fire. Sweating profusely as everything seemed to melt in his mind.

He was so fucking scared. Alone in this empty house because his parents couldn't bother to stay home long enough to bear him a single hello. Kuroo usually stayed over but now he was gone. No one was to blame except for Himself.

"K-kuro." Weakly searching for him. Throat scratchy from crying out for help when he couldn't lift himself anymore.

It wasn't anything like the movies he'd seen. Where the main character slowly drifted off. Some shitty indie music playing in the background as they smiled in peace. Kenma's pain didn't stop until he took his last breath. Slumped over the bathtub with an draped out arm, blood congealing into a pool.

Kuroo found him an hour later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenma wasn't that great of a person. 
> 
> I'm not very happy with this chapter but i wanted to get something out.
> 
> Been dealing with moving and personal stuff but hopefully the next one will be longer and get posted faster. At least this one was pretty eventful...
> 
> Please feel free to leave any feedback. - monki 흫_흫


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